I Felt Guilty

My son recently returned from a backpacking trip.

He and his group finished a grueling 22 mile hike in just 48 hours!

They needed carbs. Lots of carbs, and they had to be lightweight.

What did they bring? Boxed macaroni and cheese.

But they didn’t consume all of the boxes of mac n’ cheese.

So when, the day after he returned, I heard the familiar shout of, ‘There’s nothing to eat in this house!’ (not true, by the way — if you’ve mothered a 17-year-old boy, I’m guessing you’ve heard the same shout and a small smile just crossed your lips,) there in the pantry the leftover carbs lay in wait!

Fortunately, my son likes to cook.

He created a dish of chopped broccoli, peas, a little sausage, and a box of processed light-yellow macaroni and cheese. He baked it and he ate it for lunch.

When it was fresh from the oven, I felt compelled to have a bite.

And then another. And one final one.

It tasted good. Like comfort food, actually.

macaroni-911164_640

I hadn’t eaten boxed macaroni and cheese in years!

And after sampling his culinary delight, I had this not-so-easy feeling in my gut I didn’t really like.

Rather than letting it go, as I would have in the past, I tuned in to it.

I realized that feeling was guilt. I felt guilty for having eaten food I was judging as ‘not good for me’.

You see, I’ve come a long way from my past food issues, but it seems there are more layers to observe and process in my quest for greater self-awareness.

So this is what I did:

First, I offered myself compassion.

Eating a certain food – any food – does not make me a ‘Bad Person’.

I haven’t done wrong, and I don’t need to make myself wrong.

Making what I did mean something ABOUT ME is exactly what I coach others not to do and what I’ve overcome for myself in many areas of my life.

In this case, I was doing it to myself though, without being aware of it.

Once I made that connection, I was able to disconnect it.

I came back to compassion. I recognized I was hungry, and I ate. That’s all.

The next thing I did was a process called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, or ‘tapping’).

When doing EFT, you tap your fingers on 9 different points around your body while saying phrases corresponding to negative thoughts you’ve had.

It’s said that tapping these points clears the energetic blockages in your body caused by your negative thoughts, and you feel more calm and peaceful afterwards.

It’s simple…and effective.

In this case, I tapped those 9 points focusing on the feeling of guilt and all the guilty messages that went through my mind.

Some of my tapping phrases were:

girl-517555_640“This guilt about eating processed mac n’ cheese.”

“This guilt about not having eaten more vegetables.”

“This guilt about not having a better diet.” (Guilt can take us to dark places.)

“This guilt about not cooking something healthier at that time.”

Whatever messages had been in my head earlier or were at that moment, I tapped on them.

After just a couple rounds of tapping, I felt different. I felt more peaceful about the situation.

And for me, peace is a most desirable state.

Then, I decided to bless any food I eat and focus on its nourishment of my body. What I realized while observing the guilt was that the energetic vibration in my body now had a negative, guilty quality.

It wouldn’t matter WHAT I ate if it corresponded with an energetic vibration of guilt.

I believe there’s no way my body could sustain life with that kind of vibration.

Which is why I decided to bless my food and focus positively.

chocolate

Imagine eating a decadent chocolate truffle — picking it up from it’s little paper cup, admiring it while setting it on a beautiful tea plate, taking a small bite out of it, smelling it, and then filling yourself with GRATITUDE and PEACEFULNESS.

I like to think the cells in my body would use what they wanted and gently discard what they didn’t want.

That feels good to me.

Now imagine eating the same decadent truffle and filling yourself with DISGUST.

I see the cells of my body constricting, having a harder time functioning when bathed in that negative vibration.

I even think the same thing could happen if I were eating a salad and felt disgust.

So again, my steps were:

  • offering myself compassion
  • not making what happened mean something about me as a person
  • tapping to remove the negative emotion of guilt
  • changing my vibrational state by blessing my food and focusing on my body’s enjoyment and nourishment from the food, no matter what the food
Can you relate to this feeling of guilt?
What do you do when you feel it?

Please share below. Or email me at alicia@authentichealthpath.

I’d love to hear about the struggle you’ve run into lately, and perhaps I can address it in a future blog.

If you’re feeling it, so is someone else. Of that, I assure you.

Much love,
Alicia

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